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March 29, 2010
The Boy Who Questions Everything
It has been eighteen years since I was a girl of seventeen, a senior in high school, and I was cast in a play.
(Incidentally, the play was called The Wall, and it was completely inappropriate for a high school to do-- it was intensely depressing and sad and all about Jews in the Warsaw ghetto being slowly taken to concentration camps.)
But there was a boy in the play-- the lead in the play, as a matter of fact. And we became good friends through being in that most depressing play. After school and before play practice we would walk to Hanna's Market and each get a pint of Ben & Jerry's Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough ice cream, and eat all of it (times have changed, slightly.) Then we would find a rock that we could kick back and forth all the long walk back to the school. We would talk about all kinds of things, and one thing was for sure. This kid was different.
At seventeen, I had no idea who I was, but you wouldn't have been able to get me to believe that then. At that point, I was pretty much a product and sum total of everything I had been taught in Christian school.. and that included being too scared of evil and deception to question anything. So when I met this particular boy-- who questioned just about everything-- I felt like someone handed me secret papers with a cryptic note: It doesn't have to be this way. Have you considered that reality may be very different from what everyone is saying?
I went out to dinner with this very same boy last night. He still happens to question everything. Over the years, he has been judged harshly by those who just want everyone to go with the flow. It's easier that way. Just give into the strong current of someone else's thought, and float with the others down stream. There have been times when I myself have been frustrated by him. Why can't he just go with it sometimes?
After eighteen years of being this boy's best friend, I have come to count on the always-available reminder of the secret papers of long ago. When I find myself hopeless, I realize I've just gotten tired of fighting the current. But it really doesn't have to be this way, and reality actually is very different from what everyone is saying. And after all these years, that's what has kept me alive. I realize once again I can close the curtain on the depressing play I find myself in, and I can step outside and become a part of a different perspective on life. It's always my choice, and it's just a reminder away.
Here's to the boy who questions everything.
Posted by darbydinatale on March 29, 2010 10:48 PM
Comments
Well, I can't believe we've been in each others' lives for that long and you still manage to be fascinating and mysterious, yet comfortable and familiar. But I'm glad to be the one to help you see there's more than you thought there was, and that maybe you aren't imprisoned like you expected.
I love you.
Posted by: jason on March 30, 2010 01:13 AM
well, I will certainly cheers to the boy who questions everything.
and to the girl who herself has helped to keep me alive, just as he has done to her...
I am so very glad that you guys are together because I can't imagine life or our family without you in it, darb. and I love the way you write and I absolutely love to read your words...you are a gem among people and anybody who says differently probably means the same thing but just doesn't speak English so well.
Posted by: jessic on March 30, 2010 05:25 PM
This is very sweet. It makes me happy to read it.
Posted by: peaj on March 31, 2010 07:32 AM
A person who questions things and strives for a better life, or at least a better understanding of it, is a treasure.
Here's to those who keep us going... who remind us to live. :)
Posted by: min on April 2, 2010 09:31 PM
I love you guys together.
Posted by: Collin on April 5, 2010 10:08 PM
Darb!!!! i am so glad that you guys are together..what a beautiful team you guys are..you both are an inspiration in so many ways!!!
Posted by: sare on April 6, 2010 08:20 AM
Darby(sigh)...that was lovely and serves as a beautiful reminder to look outside of ourselves and the boxes we keep ourselves in for safety's sake.
thank you:)
Posted by: Rachel Ballard on April 6, 2010 09:59 PM
yay! i love sweet couples!
i too have learned that it's okay to question things. it is so liberating and to have such balance in your marriage is a wonderful thing.
Posted by: kate on April 22, 2010 09:05 AM






