This is Darby's website. Welcome. Hope you like the music.
Hope you like reading my thoughts.
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| Mind Block »
May 02, 2006
Something
I suppose I should just make it a habit to write and write often. I have been told that this is one of the best ways to clear one's mind in order to create what is truly inside...to rid oneself of the noise by just spitting it out as it forms.
So....write, write, write at this point....don't think, don't stop to think. Don't stop moving, don't stop the flow of thoughts, the faucet of words, let them run out and spill all over the page. Inside my chest it feels like someone is pumping my heart by hand, the fist squeezing and squeezing steadily...thump, thump, thump...the feeling-sound pulsing it's way up to my temples...breathe in...breathe out. That's all you have to do, baby. Breathe in....Breathe out.
That's all I can do.
Fingers clicking rapidly, smoothly. My eyes burn and sting and I work to breathe in the heavy air around me. Breathe In....Breathe Out...In...Out.
Does everyone have to remind themselves to breathe?
Claustrophobic inside of myself, inside this body that I inhabit. The blanket of dread resting heavily on my chest as thoughts pull me....and I regress and descend into the hum and clang of the mixer, beating, frothing heavy cream against our metal bowl and underfoot, the carpet with it's fat brown yarn. The dark threads, the dark threads, like the dream where the bathroom rug was melted into my face and neck and kept me looking down at the ground. Melted, melted plastic and that thick, brown yarn, burned into my
jugular vein. Wake up, little one, it's just a dream.
No, it's not.
No.
It's not.
Posted by darby on May 2, 2006 05:52 PM
Comments
Hey Darb, Jeffrey Dahmer was actually beaten to death by another inmate. They think the guy was paid to do it. I was wrong, he never made it to execution.
Posted by: mers on May 6, 2006 10:17 AM
the family of a victim paid inmates to beat him to death. very interesting....
Posted by: joshua Latshaw on May 6, 2006 12:06 PM
Really, hmm. I feel super bad for JD. Sure he was a serial killer but he was just so damn likable to me for some reason.
Posted by: mers on May 6, 2006 01:26 PM
this is a very surreal page. first, as far as I can tell Darby says nothing about dahmer, then merry comments like she did, and seems like she's correcting some misinformation about dahmer. then josh agrees somehow, and then merry admits she's a fan.
i'm confused.
nice writing darby.
Posted by: jason on May 6, 2006 02:31 PM
Haha...sorry Jase...Darb and I were watching a thing on JD last night and we both felt bad for him. I'm not really a fan...I could just see the human in "the monster" and I felt bad for him.
Posted by: mers on May 6, 2006 05:07 PM
I like the fact that Darby put in the word "jugular," as in: "You always go for the jugular..."
Posted by: jessica on May 7, 2006 01:33 AM
i like howyou call him JD. all casual like.
Posted by: joshua Latshaw on May 7, 2006 02:42 PM
You know, stream-of-consciousness can be a difficult form for writers to use, but here I feel you use it very effectively. It's a very vulnerable way to express yourself. One of my favorite short stories is stream-of-consciousness; it's one of those classics they make you read in high school; "The Jilting of Granny Weatherall" (or something like that). I haven't read it in ages, but it really touched me. Maybe that's because I really like hanging out with old ladies that have dementia. I like them better than serial killers- no offence to your pal JD.
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