For some reason I don't have the ability to differentiate between a show I"m watching and real life. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I've been that way ever since I was little, and it's never changed. When I was four years old, I saw Lassie Come Home, and I was so torn up about Lassie going away that I literally cried on and off for weeks. Nevermind that Lassie eventually did come home. I couldn't see past the trauma.

I don't care if a horribly nerve-wracking or gut-wrenching movie has a good ending. If it wracks my nerves or wrenches my gut, I don't want to watch it. It just gets somewhere deep inside of me, and I start feeling very, very hopeless about how much pain there is in the world.

Has there ever been a movie that just stuck with you, and you just could not shake it?

That's happened with so many movies throughout the course of my life, I couldn't even begin to name them all. And the particular scenes that stuck with me are still as clear as day, and they will never leave me, and they still make me feel sick. But here are a few:

Schindler's List(if that movie didn't stick with you and shake you up, I don't think it's possible to do so),

The Green Mile(and I only saw the middle of it, but there's that scene where that horribly cruel prison guard deliberately didn't wet the electrocution headgear, so that prisoner with the pet mouse died a way more painful death than he needed to.) By the way, is that Mr. Noodle's brother, Mr. Noodle, from Sesame Street? I swear it is, making it all the more traumatic.

What else? Oh yeah, I only saw part of this movie, too. . . but in Cold Mountain, when the soldiers were crushing the mother's hands between two planks of a fence until she screamed so that her sons would come out of hiding, and they ran out to save their mom, and they got shot. . . that's the kind of stuff that makes me so completely traumatized to live in this fucked-up world. And there really is no other way to describe what this place is, or else I would have.

So in conclusion, I would just like to say that I'm not the best person to watch a movie with. If you've seen it before, I'll want you to tell me every thing that is about to happen, so I'm prepared. And if you've never seen it before, I'll still want you to tell me everything that is about to happen, even though you don't have a clue.

And if there is trauma in the movie, like the stuff mentioned above, I will be present in body, but in mind or spirit I will be in a deep, black hole. And if you are my husband, I will irrationally feel upset with you, even though you had nothing to do with anything that is causing me trouble.

Anyway, someone asked me to post the lyrics of the songs that are up, so I'll do that soon. Thanks for reading this.