This is Darby's website. Welcome. Hope you like the music.
Hope you like reading my thoughts.
June 03, 2010
Traumatic
This post is going to be about something disturbing and traumatic that I saw today, so if you are easily upset about the condition of the world, please don't read on.
Posted by darbydinatale at 06:42 PM | Comments (13)
March 29, 2010
The Boy Who Questions Everything
It has been eighteen years since I was a girl of seventeen, a senior in high school, and I was cast in a play.
Continue reading "The Boy Who Questions Everything"
Posted by darbydinatale at 10:48 PM | Comments (8)
January 10, 2010
A Sense Of Well Being
It's been so long since I've written on here, and so much has changed. But let me start by saying I have recently begun to experience something that I have never known before. A sense of well being.
Continue reading "A Sense Of Well Being"
Posted by darbydinatale at 10:54 PM | Comments (9)
May 07, 2009
waking up crying
For the second time in the past week, I woke up crying today.
Continue reading "waking up crying"
Posted by darby at 08:50 PM | Comments (1)
November 03, 2008
Regressing
I'm writing to keep myself from eating. That's embarrassing to admit, but there you go. I'm not hungry. I just want to eat, because I feel sad.
Posted by darby at 04:27 PM | Comments (14)
September 28, 2008
A Little Strange
It's 11:30 pm, and there is crazy rave music blaring outside our house.
Continue reading "A Little Strange"
Posted by darby at 02:25 AM | Comments (16)
July 26, 2008
A Hermit
I don't know how many people know this about me, but I would be happy to live in the middle of nowhere and be completely isolated. This is no reflection whatsoever on the people I love. I have come to terms with the fact that I mostly just want to be alone.
Posted by darby at 09:00 PM | Comments (18)
July 23, 2008
I Don't Know What To Say
I am home for the summer. I don't know what to say. I haven't written in a while.
Continue reading "I Don't Know What To Say"
Posted by darby at 09:23 PM | Comments (4)
June 10, 2008
Going Home
I am going home at the end of the week, and I feel crazy.
Posted by darby at 12:44 AM | Comments (17)
May 21, 2008
I Want To Want What Is Good For Me
I love chocolate. I love candy. I love decadent pastries, filled donuts and coffee that is white with Sweet Italian Creme Creamer. I love cake with lots and lots and lots of frosting. I love chewy brownies with chocolate chips in them.
Continue reading "I Want To Want What Is Good For Me"
Posted by darby at 02:54 PM | Comments (14)
May 07, 2008
Still Going to Boot Camp
It's been a week and a half of boot camp, and I'm still feeling it.
Continue reading "Still Going to Boot Camp"
Posted by darby at 09:45 PM | Comments (3)
April 30, 2008
Booty Camp
Well... yesterday a blanket was covering my alarm clock, and I didn't hear my alarm. I woke up at 6 am and was completely frustrated because it was too late to go to boot camp.
Posted by darby at 10:55 PM | Comments (1)
April 28, 2008
Day 1
I woke up this morning at 5 to go to my first day of boot camp.
Posted by darby at 08:49 PM | Comments (3)
April 27, 2008
Let's Try This
I have decided to give myself a little kick in the arse.
Continue reading "Let's Try This"
Posted by darby at 09:01 PM | Comments (5)
April 01, 2008
A good moment
I do not take this for granted...
Continue reading "A good moment"
Posted by darby at 06:05 PM | Comments (5)
March 29, 2008
... and here's the goal....
What will it take to get to the point where I am ok inside myself, no matter what is going on around me?
Continue reading "... and here's the goal...."
Posted by darby at 09:25 PM | Comments (3)
March 21, 2008
The Emptiness
Sometimes I wonder if I should really write how I feel. I don't want people to worry about me, and some do. I know it's just because they love me. But I will be ok.
Continue reading "The Emptiness"
Posted by darby at 12:18 AM | Comments (8)
March 14, 2008
It Has Been Six and A Half Months
It has occurred to be in recent days that I like it here in LA. It has started to feel somewhat familiar. The flowers outside my house are jasmine, and the whole walkway smells like them.
Continue reading "It Has Been Six and A Half Months"
Posted by darby at 12:24 AM | Comments (8)
March 11, 2008
I Am Addicted to Oh's
There is a cereal that I cannot stop eating. I eat it straight out of the box. It is called Oh's.
Posted by darby at 11:15 PM | Comments (6)
February 27, 2008
Seems Like Summer
I can't get used to the fact that it's 75 degrees here today... I think it is starting to hit me that I live in Los Angeles.
Continue reading "Seems Like Summer"
Posted by darby at 05:17 PM | Comments (8)
February 14, 2008
Devastation.. And It's All My Fault
My hard drive crashed. All of the music I have written over the past two years was on it. I hadn't backed it up. I don't know why. I honestly had never thought about it. Now it is completely gone. Hundreds of new songs, pieces of songs, things I wanted to remember. Gone.
Continue reading "Devastation.. And It's All My Fault"
Posted by darby at 05:44 PM | Comments (7)
February 13, 2008
Foggy Day
It's completely foggy here today. Usually the sun brings such color into my view which distracts me somewhat, but not today.
Posted by darby at 05:36 PM | Comments (7)
February 03, 2008
It's Not Pretty
I am really hoping to discipline myself to write more often, but it seems like when I need to write the most, I am unable to break out from inside myself.
Continue reading "It's Not Pretty"
Posted by darby at 12:19 PM | Comments (7)
January 11, 2008
The Transition Back To California
I went home to Delaware (and Pennsylvania and Maryland) for Christmas, and stayed almost four weeks. I just cannot seem to grasp that this is my life now...living in LA, with home as a place I go on vacation.
Continue reading "The Transition Back To California"
Posted by darby at 03:06 PM | Comments (6)
October 21, 2007
here it is
Sitting beside the ocean... it smells so salty and nostalgic, just like I am five years old and on vacation for the first time. The sun gleams on the water, the sandy beach sprawls out underneath me. My heart is broken.
Posted by darby at 11:38 PM | Comments (8)
September 18, 2007
Here in LA
Well, here we are. Pacific Palisades, California. It is incrediby beautiful here. One whole wall of our house is completely made of windows, and I can see the Pacific Ocean and beautiful mountains when I look out. There is an ocean breeze blowing at all times, and during the day it is about 70 degrees with sunny skies. And yet...I miss my home terribly.
Posted by darby at 06:07 PM | Comments (8)
April 19, 2007
A new song - Quiet
Here are the lyrics to a song I just wrote. Listen to it here.
I want you to know there is a place where you can go
When you’re afraid and you’re alone, you can come here
Wake me up in the dead of the night
I’ll bring you inside and hold you so tight
Don’t say a word I’ll understand just what you mean
Quiet, quiet, lay down your head
Quiet, it’s alright, just close your eyes
Nothing needs to be said tonight
Broken heart, I see in your eyes
You fear that not all phoenixes rise
GIve me your hand, put it in mine, I won’t let go
Silently, I’ll keep you warm
Stay in my arms til after the storm
And after a while you will just know you’re not alone
Posted by elanyarts at 11:14 AM | Comments (12)
April 05, 2007
Everything May Change
In a few days I will know whether or not I am moving to Los Angeles.
Continue reading "Everything May Change"
Posted by darby at 11:19 PM | Comments (9)
March 27, 2007
A New Song
A dear and good friend of mine suggested that I write the lyrics out to a song I recently wrote...so here they are: (Listen to the song here...)
Posted by darby at 04:05 PM | Comments (6)
February 18, 2007
In the Studio
It's been a long time since I've written...but I will start by saying that I spent all last week in a recording studio.
Continue reading "In the Studio"
Posted by darby at 04:44 PM | Comments (7)
January 18, 2007
Looking for Comfort
Some days, when I can't find comfort anywhere, I become overwhelmed with the thought that others cannot find comfort either.
Continue reading "Looking for Comfort"
Posted by darby at 06:14 PM | Comments (12)
January 12, 2007
no more logging in
OK, we're trying out a new filter here, so you don't have to log in anymore to leave comments. Hopefully this will. Everyone chime in and leave a message and get the Darbster to post. There is a ton of stuff going on with her musically these days.
Posted by elanyarts at 10:40 PM | Comments (5)
December 04, 2006
No more spam
Hey all, the spammers were getting quite overwhelming in the comments, so sadly now you have to log in to comment. Sorry! I know that's annoying, but no where near as annoying as having to delete 300 comments left by someone named "Kinky Sex" every other day.
Posted by elanyarts at 10:18 PM | Comments (4)
November 24, 2006
Another Song
Here are the lyrics to another song I recently wrote. I will record the music soon and put it up as soon as I can. . .
Continue reading "Another Song"
Posted by darby at 07:46 PM | Comments (6)
November 10, 2006
New Music
There are two new songs under the "music" category of this site...you will need headphones to hear them because the quality is really bad. I just hit "record" on my mp3 recorder, so it's rough....
Posted by darby at 02:27 PM | Comments (5)
November 09, 2006
A LIttle Entry
Hello everyone....this is a quick little update in case anyone still checks this blog.
Continue reading "A LIttle Entry"
Posted by darby at 08:51 PM | Comments (17)
October 11, 2006
Writing New Music
I have been writing lots and lots of new music lately, and I was thinking about putting it on the website. It's really rough because it was just recorded with an mp3 recorder, but as soon as I figure out how to download it onto here, I will.
Continue reading "Writing New Music"
Posted by darby at 07:32 AM | Comments (12)
October 09, 2006
Back From the Dead...Again
I don't have much to say.
Continue reading "Back From the Dead...Again"
Posted by darby at 08:10 PM | Comments (7)
August 20, 2006
The Show
I played my first show for people I did not know tonight. I was so surprised. . .I wasn't nervous at all. Yet another miracle.
Posted by darby at 01:22 AM | Comments (10)
August 18, 2006
Blah Blah
Ok, here I am. Not gonna think about anything, except for accomplishing the task of writing a new post, cause I know I have been delinquent. . .and I add it to the piles of things I feel ashamed of.
Posted by darby at 10:57 PM | Comments (2)
July 13, 2006
I Tried to Write a New Post, Really, I Did
Last night I spent a very long time writing a long post. And towards the end, I Googled a word to see if I had spelled it correctly (if you must know, it was "Radley" of Boo Radley), and somehow the whole thing got erased.
Continue reading "I Tried to Write a New Post, Really, I Did"
Posted by darby at 09:11 PM | Comments (2)
July 05, 2006
Magic Raisins
First of all, I just don't understand why people are not content to read the story of Duckfoot Leafis over and over and over and over again for weeks when they check this website. But apparently, some people are just never satisfied...
Continue reading "Magic Raisins"
Posted by darby at 12:44 PM | Comments (17)
June 22, 2006
Duckfoot Leafis
I've been sitting here thinking of something new to write, and when I sit down, my mind is blank. Well, really, my mind is racing...but racing to think of what is appropriate to write and what isn't....and all of the recent thoughts that come through my brain fail the test.
Continue reading "Duckfoot Leafis"
Posted by darby at 07:49 PM | Comments (5)
June 10, 2006
A Wish to be Sophisticated
I wish I was sophisticated. Often I look at other people and wonder how they are so put together. Are you born that way? Just knowing what to wear, where to go, what mannerisms to use to portray that you know what you are doing?
Continue reading "A Wish to be Sophisticated"
Posted by darby at 12:38 PM | Comments (25)
June 09, 2006
In Vancouver
I am writing from a most beautiful place. I am sitting by a picture window, drinking English breakfast tea and eating a sticky bun, looking out over a long empty beach.... with the waves of the Pacific ocean rolling onto the shore.
Continue reading "In Vancouver"
Posted by darby at 01:07 PM | Comments (9)
May 29, 2006
A beautiful day
I love Rehoboth beach. We went today, just for the day. And it was as wonderful as always.
Continue reading "A beautiful day"
Posted by darby at 10:43 PM | Comments (12)
May 26, 2006
Playing Tonight
I just got home from the benefit...and I played four songs.
Continue reading "Playing Tonight"
Posted by darby at 10:31 PM | Comments (11)
May 20, 2006
Missed Opportunity
Last night before I went to bed, I listened to the messages on our answering machine.
Continue reading "Missed Opportunity"
Posted by darby at 07:56 PM | Comments (14)
May 16, 2006
alkdjf
My creativity is locked away and has been for a while. Only recently has it crept out from behind a locked door...where it has been stuffed away under self hatred, shame and fear. i can tell when it is available to me, and it isn't available today.
Posted by darby at 08:27 PM | Comments (8)
May 10, 2006
Mind Block
Write, write, write I feel like there is so much inside like the moldy stuffing inside of a couch pillow, coming out where the zipper is a little unzipped.
Posted by darby at 01:30 PM | Comments (28)
May 02, 2006
Something
I suppose I should just make it a habit to write and write often. I have been told that this is one of the best ways to clear one's mind in order to create what is truly inside...to rid oneself of the noise by just spitting it out as it forms.
Posted by darby at 05:52 PM | Comments (58)
Frustration
It is late and it hurts to type...because this morning I got a big splinter under my cuticle. Kind of similar to a method of torture...
Continue reading "Frustration"
Posted by darby at 12:20 AM | Comments (5)
April 22, 2006
Here's a New Post
I have decided to just start writing...because I know that it has been way too long since I have written. And I said that if people gave me suggestions, I would write. So here I am.
Continue reading "Here's a New Post"
Posted by darby at 08:37 PM | Comments (20)
April 19, 2006
I Will Write If You Will Give Me A Topic
I would totally love to write something, but I am sitting here at a complete loss of what to write about. I have thought about it every day for a while...I just can't think of anything that inspires me. The things I think about lately would be pretty intense and depressing. So, give me a topic...ask me a question...anything, anything at all....and then I will be happy to write!
Posted by darby at 04:42 PM | Comments (16)
April 08, 2006
More Lyrics to A New Song
Here are the lyrics to the most recent song I've written, called A Lullabye for the Broken Heart.
Continue reading "More Lyrics to A New Song"
Posted by darby at 07:39 AM | Comments (10)
April 05, 2006
Crying So Much That Snot Is Dripping Into My Hair
I haven't really been able to cry much over the past...well, almost 3 years. I've always hated to cry, but up until the past three years, at least I could cry, if I really needed to. But being unable to cry has felt a lot like having a stomach virus and not being able to throw up.
Continue reading "Crying So Much That Snot Is Dripping Into My Hair"
Posted by darby at 09:10 PM | Comments (7)
April 04, 2006
Thunderstorm
Last night, as I was getting into bed, there was a wonderful thunderstorm. A good thunderstorm is one of my favorite things in the entire world. For some reason, they make me feel so safe, even if I am standing outside.
Continue reading "Thunderstorm"
Posted by darby at 08:47 PM | Comments (5)
March 24, 2006
A Mean Stranger
Sometimes lately I have trouble containing all of the horribleness inside. I feel like there's someone inside my head screaming obscenities, someone who just wants to destroy things, someone who wants to get into a car, drive away, and never come back.
Continue reading "A Mean Stranger"
Posted by darby at 09:05 PM | Comments (8)
March 23, 2006
Confession, Part II
Living on 200 calories a day did not go well. i would eat a half cup of dry bran flakes for breakfast, and then for dinner and lunch I would eat a 50 calorie hot dog, no roll. I remember standing in front of the microwave in my dorm community room...counting the seconds until my allotted hot dog was done.
When the bell would ding, I would carefully take it out and eat it, miniscule piece by miniscule piece, savoring every bite.
Continue reading "Confession, Part II"
Posted by darby at 07:47 PM | Comments (7)
March 18, 2006
A Confession
I don't think I've ever had a normal relationship with food. When I was a child, if I encountered food that tasted good or made me feel better inside, I would eat it until I was nearly sick. We weren't allowed to have much sugar (and being a mom now, I can understand this), but every Christmas we would each get a pound of chocolate--a Whitman's Sampler. I kid you not, I would eat the entire thing on Christmas morning.
Continue reading "A Confession"
Posted by darby at 07:20 AM | Comments (8)